Hey, everybody, it’s Babs again. Boy, have I had a time! Let me tell you all about it.

snapshot_80028a30_a031c5daIt was my wedding day, and all my friends and Hun’s showed up in their fanciest clothes.

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We rented us a fancy wedding arch, and of course we got a keg.

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Everybody was real excited about the keg.

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“Hun, I’m so, so sorry about yesterday. I promise it won’t happen again. Hey, mister, are you our minister?”

“Minister? What’s that now?”

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“Hun, I love you so much…”

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“Hold up. I can’t do this.”

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“I just…I can’t marry you, Babs. Not after what you did.”

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“Hun, please! We’re having a baby! Please take the ring!”

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“I can’t. I just can’t. I’m done.”

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“Catch ya later.”

“You left me at the altar, and you’re finger gunning me?”

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Everybody was talking about us. At least some people seemed really upset, and maybe even mad at Hun. That made me feel a little better.

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Hun went straight for the keg.

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I was real hungry, so I went inside and chowed down on about eight plates of Jell-O.

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Then I went back outside and cheered myself up a little by meeting some new hot guys.

snapshot_80028a30_a031c9b5 The party got interrupted when I went into labor! Look at all those sweet boys standing around worrying about me.

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 I didn’t see Hun, but I guess he had found a private room to go be upset in.

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 I had a little baby girl! I decided to call her Lady Bird. The blonde hair kinda surprised me, though.

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 I was so excited that I could finally have me some punch.

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 We got some baby stuff, ’cause babies need stuff and all.

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 “Great. Your mother just left you on the grass. And what kind of crazy name is Lady Bird, anyway?”

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 The wedding party was a disaster.

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“This is horrible! What am I going to do?”

snapshot_80028a30_8031cd99“Hey there, hot stuff.”

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Making out always makes me feel better.

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“You sure are a cute little thing, Lady Bird. Too bad your daddy’s a jerk who left me at the altar.

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“Babs? No, she’s not here right now. You should try calling back when she isn’t at work.”

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“What are you doing telling people I’m not home?”

Even while I was yelling at Hun, I was wishing I could give him a big smacking kiss on the lips and make everything better.

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“It was some guy! Just another one of your lovers! I suppose that’s all I am to you, too, just another notch on your belt!”

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Oh, he made me so mad, I could spit!

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He really teed me off when he went and slept in the bed. It’s my bed! I’m sure as heck not sleeping on the couch in my own house!

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Well, Lady Bird’ll need a bed someday. And I figured I might as well get bunk beds.

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“Listen, this isn’t working. I think maybe you should move out, since you cheated on me.”

“Move out? This is my trailer, jerk! Remember how you had no place to go, so I let you stay here with me?”

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“Well, then, I think I should take Lady Bird with me. And Lady Bird is a terrible name. I’m going to rename her Princess Beyonce.”

“Ew! What do you want to call her? No way are you getting my baby! Get out of here, or I’m calling the cops!”

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“Bye.”

“I’ll call you. I still want time with my daughter.”

“Whatever.”

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I invited Kevin over, so Hun could see us kissing as his cab drove away.

What a jerk. “Princess Beyonce”? Really?

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I heard Hun moved into a nice little apartment on the edge of town.

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I have no idea how he managed to afford the rent, since he only left with about $600.

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My carpool came, but of course I couldn’t go and leave Lady Bird all alone. Plus, I was on a date! But I did get to wondering what was going to happen when my vacation days ran out.

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It’s a good thing Kevin stayed. We had a great time.

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Hun stole my newspaper! He knew I needed that for compost!

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Lady Bird was a good baby. She fussed a little when she was hungry, and that was it.

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I figured I might as well eat all the tomatoes that didn’t get sold at the yard sale, so I stuck ’em in the fridge.

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I also got a microwave, so I could cook food up right instead of taking forever with the stove. I figured, if the company was gonna give me money every day to not go to work, why not?

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Soon enough, it was time for Lady Bird’s birthday!

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She grew up to be a cute little thing.

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While she took her nap, I went out and harvested my veggies. I was kinda glad to be done with gardening for the year.

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Somebody told me about this fancy milk that would make kids smart. Well, Lady Bird wanted to learn walking and talking and stuff, and I didn’t want to spend forever teaching her, so I figured I’d try it out.

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It seemed like it worked, since she learned to walk pretty quick. That’s good that I don’t have to carry her no more.

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I think I had some bad baloney or something.

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I was glad Lady Bird was big enough to keep herself busy with her toy, ’cause I didn’t feel so hot.

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I had me some ramen, and then put Lady Bird in her crib and went to take a nap myself.

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“MAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAA!”

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Oh, boy, another baby! Kevin’s the daddy, probably.

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With Hun coming around and stealing the paper, I thought it’d be good to have a nice big dog around. But Rover didn’t stay long.

snapshot_80028a30_c03205dcI asked Kevin over to tell him about the baby, but I got distracted when he brought his cute friend Castor.

snapshot_80028a30_203206dcI don’t know why Kevin thought it would be a good idea to just barge into the bedroom.

snapshot_80028a30_c03206f6He was all mad at me and stuff, so I never got a chance to talk to him before he left.

I still love the guy, though.

snapshot_80028a30_e03207b4Well, things weren’t working out with my baby daddies, so I figured I’d better find some new guys to kiss. After I finished my Lean Cuisine.

snapshot_80028a30_4032088a‘Course, Lady Bird kept me pretty busy. She’s a cute kid, but I don’t know how she got so dirty.

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 I got her some more toys, since she’s gonna have a brother or sister to share them with.

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She was so happy with her toys that I finally got a good sleep in. Seems like the first time since she was born.

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I was having a nice date with mailman #2…

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When I popped into the 3rd trimester.

I kinda think I want to be done with babies after this.

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“Say ‘bottle’, Lady Bird.”

My baby girl was just as smart for talking as she was for walking.

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I got another stray dog to come inside, but she ran off, too.

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It’s always nice when my dates give me pretty presents. I put the vase on the desk, where I can see it every time I play SSX 3.

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I decided to put in a little pond, in case I get the urge to go fishing. I hope there are boots in it. Someday I’ll buy a juicer and make me some boot juice!

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Phil came over for some fun.

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And then Lady Bird walked in on us! She was bored or something, I guess. Don’t know why when she’s got all those toys.

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I went outside to enjoy the sunshine for a bit, and went into labor!

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It was a boy this time. I named him Andrew.

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I finally got a stray dog interested enough to stick around! Maybe Webster just really likes kids.

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I got him his very own doggie house.

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That night was Lady Bird’s birthday! It was a good thing, since Andrew couldn’t stay in the bouncy chair forever.

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Lady Bird is still real cute, and I found some good clothes for her in the charity bin. That’s good – I got a little money saved up, and I’m still getting money from my job that I never go to, but I can’t really afford to spend a whole day’s pay on new clothes.

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Lady Bird had some fun playing with Webster before she went to bed. I want her to have a fun time, so I’m not gonna make her do stuff. If she wants to spend all her time playing with the dog, that’s fine by me.

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The dog kept trying to destroy the trash can, so I went out to see if I could dig up a nice bone for him.

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Every once in a while I still think about what a jerk Hun was to leave me at the altar.

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“Mommy, you make the best cereal.”

“I’m not really that good at cooking, Birdie.”

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Lady Bird headed off for her first day of school. That girl runs everywhere.

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Ben came over for a date.

I shoulda asked him to marry me. I bet Ben wouldn’t have left me at the altar.

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“Hey, kid, what’s up?”

“Playing a game. Who are you?”

“I’m Ben’s friend. He asked me to come over with him.”

“Oh. Just don’t slap my mom. That’s what usually happens when guys bring their friends over.”

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Drew kept me busy with his stinky diapers. I hate changing diapers.

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I was so glad when it was time for his birthday. Birdie was excited, too.

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Aw, ain’t he a little guy. Looks just like his daddy, bless his heart.

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That special milk seemed to work real good for Lady Bird, so I gave Drew some too.

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Yep, Webster definitely likes the kiddies.

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“Mommy, what’s the capital of Simlandia?”

“Oh, honey, I don’t know. Don’t you worry about all that school stuff. You don’t have to be fancy or nothing, just pass on through.”

Anyway, I think that’s about it this time.

***

Author’s Notes:

The rules say a new spouse can be moved in if the spouse dies, but they say nothing about a prospective spouse moving out. I figured Hun moving out would be more in the spirit of the challenge than killing him off would be, so I’m just going to attempt to follow the rules by not moving in a replacement. I am playing him, for the moment – he lives in an apartment and is best friends with Lady Bird, because I didn’t see how that could hurt anything. I toyed with the idea of playing all Babs’ baby daddies, but decided against it. I’m planning to play moved out spares once I get to that point, and don’t want to bog myself down with a bunch of baby daddies first. I do have a special place in my heart for Hun, though. He lost a nice gig as a townie barista for Babs, and then she cheated on him and stole all his money (he came in with $10,000, and left with only $600). I want to make him happy, so I’ll play him at least until he gets his LTW.

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